How much pain is too much pain? And when does it turn into something oddly beautiful—or, dare I say, funny? Jesse Eisenberg’s latest film A Real Pain does not just ask these questions; it invites you to sit uncomfortably with them, laugh through them, and leave the theater slightly more introspective.
At first glance, this is a gentle, verbal comedy about mismatched cousins on a journey through Poland to honor Dory, their late grandmother. Dig a little deeper, and it is an exploration of family dynamics, intergenerational trauma, and what it means to truly connect with someone, even when you would rather not. It is an artful dance of humor and heartache, and yes, a lot of awkward silences and hilarious moments.
Meet the Cousins
David (played by Eisenberg himself) and Benji (an electrifying Kieran Culkin) are the kind of cousins who could be mistaken for estranged brothers. David’s life is, on paper, stable: a wife, a sweet little kid, and a job selling digital ads in New York City. But scratch the surface, and you will find a man barely holding it together with the help of OCD medication and a simmering fear of… well, life. Then there is Benji, the epitome of a wandering soul: no steady job, no smartphone capable of playing music, and a personality as charismatic as it is volatile. Culkin’s Golden Globe-winning performance masterfully balances Benji’s charm and inner chaos, lighting up every room he walks into—until he inevitably implodes and falls into his internally constructed trap.
The chemistry between Eisenberg and Culkin is magnetic. Their banter is sharp, loaded with years of unresolved tension and reluctant affection. As they bicker their way through their heritage tour, dodge the train fare or smoke on private rooftops, their differences highlight their shared humanity. One’s a realist; the other’s a dreamer. One clings to routine; the other rejects it entirely. Yet, they are bound by blood, history, and a lingering sense of duty and love-fueled responsibility to each other.
Source: Gateway Film Center
A Journey Through Memory
The cousins’ journey takes them to different spots in Poland, from Warsaw to the Majdanek concentration camp (!), where the film gains both gravity and grace. Eisenberg’s direction is at its finest here, blending art-house sensibilities with deeply personal storytelling. The camera lingers on landscapes and paint worn interiors with patience and sensitivity, capturing the weight of history in almost still-life compositions. Eisenberg’s team was only the second in history allowed to shoot on such a tragic location, and the result is both haunting, unsettling and respectful.
The scene shot in the woods, where characters honor the deceased in an old cemetery, is an outstanding one too. That is probably the first time Benji snaps in public, raising suspicion and concern in their fellow tour members. The way the scene was captured by cinematographer Michal Dymek (EO) with warm light twinkling through the leaves, the soothing texture and nostalgia, is amazing. This movie is a great reminder of how powerful young, driven, socially and historically aware and sensitive filmmakers can be if they come together.
Much of the film is complemented by Chopin’s music, which often serves as an emotional counterpoint to the plot’s comedic beats. The juxtaposition of such classical beauty with moments of snappy, biting humor is a bold choice that pays off, giving the film a rhythm that feels as erratic and tender as the characters themselves. Exciting choices left and right!
The Art of Subtle Storytelling
Eisenberg’s direction is as effortless as it is deliberate. From the opening and closing shots – that framing device turns out to be gut-wrenchingly powerful – at the airport with the fluid, gentle camera movements on the Polish trains, every frame feels purposeful. The use of long, flowing tracking shots, push-ins and outs adds a sense of intimacy and dynamism, pulling the viewer into the cousins’ evolving relationship while enhancing the story. It is clear Eisenberg is not just following actors around; he is painting a picture—one that is messy, soft, and utterly human.
The writing, too, is a standout. The dialogue is snappy and layered, brimming with teasing, love, unspoken questions and a hint of resentment. There is a palpable sense of shared history between David and Benji, and their conversations often oscillate between laugh-out-loud funny and gut-wrenchingly poignant. It is a testament to Eisenberg’s skill as both a writer and director that these tonal shifts never feel jarring. The film’s supporting cast led by Jennifer Grey also give truthful, exciting performances. They portray other descendants of Holocaust survivors and emigrants sharing stories on how their ancestors arrived in the USA with nothing and ended up selling furniture or open pharmacies around Chicago. How they, as David says, “went through many miracles” to provide their children and grandchildren with a better future.
Source: Deadline
Personal and Universal
What makes A Real Pain so compelling is its blend of the deeply personal and the universally relatable. The house the cousins visit in Poland, once home to their grandmother before she fled during the Holocaust, is actually part of Eisenberg’s own family history. His personal connection infuses the film with an authenticity that is hard to fake. But the story is not just about one family’s trauma (as if that was not too much already); it is about all of us. How do we honor the past while living in the present? How do we navigate relationships weighed down by shared pain and personal baggage?
The film’s exploration of these questions feels particularly timely and relatable. In an age of increasing rate of depression and grave disconnection, both physical and emotional, David and Benji’s struggle to truly see and support each other hits home. Their journey is a reminder of the importance of listening, of being open and accepting of help, and of finding humor and gentleness in even the darkest moments.
The making of A Real Pain had its own share of drama. Originally, Eisenberg wanted to play Benji, but Culkin’s nuanced performance proves he was the right choice. Interestingly, Culkin nearly backed out just weeks before shooting began. It was Emma Stone, one of the film’s producers through her production company Fruit Tree, who guilt tripped him into staying, saving the production from potential collapse. Given the depth and natural charisma Culkin brings to the role, it is hard to imagine anyone else as Benji.
Final Thoughts
A Real Pain is a triumph of storytelling, blending humor, heartache, and history into a film that is as thought-provoking as it is entertaining. Eisenberg’s dual role as writer-director is masterful, and the performances from both him and Culkin are nothing short of stellar. Think of their confrontational scene on the rooftop! Eisenberg takes your breath away.
This is not just a film about family; it is a film about what it means to be human—flawed, funny, and forever searching for connection and purpose.
So, how much pain is too much pain? For David and Benji, the answer is somewhere in the shared laughter, tears of their adventure, and the question: will they ever be able to truly connect – with themselves and each other? For the rest of us, it may be in the realization that sometimes, the only way forward is through. With a cousin by your side, if you are lucky.
A Real Pain is now available on Hulu and Apple TV.
~ by Dora Endre ~
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